Category: OneSelf

You have work to do on yourselfYou have work to do on yourself

If you are in a bad relationship, it just means you have to work on yourself. You have your garbage, they have theirs. You have to decide how much rubbish you’re willing to put up with to help. Don’t let them destory you. 

I imagine being in my little ecosystem and trying to maintain it on a daily basis. If there is a person polluting that, I have a decision to make.  It may have started well, but slowly became hurtful.

Then I have to ask myself if I should … kick them off my planet. It sounds rude, but you can’t let go of your own responsibility to go fix someone else’s planet. Who will watch yours? Nobody. Because it is your responsibility. 

Conversations are the most important way to decide if you can fix a relationship or cut it. -Hey, dude, can you not throw toxic waste in my ocean? You’ve been doing it for a while and my cute dolphins are dying. 

Oh my God. I didn’t even realize that I hurt them. Sorry! How to improve? 

Not only has he shown the problem, but the man takes responsibility and wants to improve. 

But if they say: -Look, how should I have known ?! I just wanted to help! Why are you so sensitive ?! This is super toxic.

Set limits on how much you can give and make sure you have separate support, so you don’t have to rely on each other. If things don’t change … Look at yourself, too. 

Do you have to explain their actions too much to others? Do the people who are closest to you, do they like them? People get stuck in themselves. 

Remember that you can make mistakes too! Look at you a little, clarify your feelings.

Ask yourself, “Am I an asshole?” Why do you do things: Out of hatred? Anger? Jealousy? It’s hard to admit your weaknesses, but it is more important to be 100% real and brutally honest with yourself-If you’re going to keep a 100% real relationship. 

Most manipulators do not realize that they are. No one wakes up like: -Ha-ha! I will be super manipulative today! It doesn’t matter if you admit your mistake. It is more wrong to turn a blind eye and move on.

It takes a lot to stop anything relationship because it can feel like a loss, or a rejection, but sometimes it is the best solution for both of you.

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